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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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