my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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