i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize