My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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