and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
