Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
