Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
