it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
