Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
