you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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