I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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