You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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