It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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