Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
