i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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