I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
high people should be assigned attendants
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
