I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
