and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
