Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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