i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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