Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
