just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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