My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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