ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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