i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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