His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
