whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
