I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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