I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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