you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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