you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize