Non-Jews are for practice
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
