my sisters under your porch take her home
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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