areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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