now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
