UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
