so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
