He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
