I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
