His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
