um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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