If that was your dad, he is hot
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
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