Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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