The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize