its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
