return my video game
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
