i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
