I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
