I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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