I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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