i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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