My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it was like having sex with a tree stump
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
