Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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