He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
