we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
