at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
